And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
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Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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