just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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