I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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