you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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