Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
