Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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