i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
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why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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