You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
