I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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