If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
