Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
