Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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