do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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