so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
