yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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