Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
