is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
