he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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