singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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