Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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