i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
