bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
