you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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