everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
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