Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
