I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
