last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
