evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
