i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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