Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
