We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
