Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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