o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
