Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
