i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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