I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
