based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She bit a glass in half.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
