if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
