Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
