quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
