It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
