This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
