Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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