my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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