I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
