Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
