Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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