I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
