how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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