His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize