i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
