Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
