Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
smell my finger.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
