i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
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Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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