Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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